I'm applying for Office Candidate School (OCS) so there are two essays I need to write. Can somebody help me with the grammar or give me any advice how to write it?
Topic 1: Discuss what the Navy's Core Values (Honor, Courage, Commitment) mean to you and how you think they will apply to you as an officer in the U.S. Navy.
Essay: I have been in the U.S Navy for about one year now. In one year, the Navy has changed me from a person who cares nothing other than family and friends to become a person who lives by the Navy's core values of honor, courage and commitment. I'm now a person who is not only caring for family and friends but also caring for others who I have never known. Back home I'm a friend, a son and a brother who trustworthy to talk to and always be the first person to be there when friends and family need. The Navy's core value of honor according to me is the most important core value of all. It is the foundation to develop trust from others by the acts of honest and truthful in dealing with people and by taking responsibility for your actions and keeping your words. The person with honor is the person who behavior morally and ethically and is trustworthy to talk to and to follow. The second most important of the Navy's core values is the commitment. Commitment is the key to get the work done on time with safety by being committed to positively change and constantly improvement. A person with commitment is a productive person who lives with goal oriented. A task with commitment is the task will be done with obligation and responsibility. Without commitment, nothing can be done. Last but not least important is the value of courage. Courage is the characteristic that require highly moral and mental strength to do what is right. A person with courage is the person who is willing to face the mistake and willing to change, even in the face of personal and professional adversity. As an officer in the U.S. Navy, all of the three Navy's core values are important and none one of those are more important than others. It is the matter in each person to choice which is the most important to him/her and knowing how to apply those values adequately in each task that needs to be completed.
Topic 2: For all applicants, including Nurse Corps, use the space provided to describe the following in detail: (Limit your statement for each section below to between 200 and 250 words)
- Reason for applying for a commission
- Personal and professional goals
- Strengths/personal characteristics you possess which will contribute to success in the program(s) to which you are applying. Address any other relevant information or substantial accomplishments not already covered.
Essay: Everyone has a dream and my dream is to work for the U.S government to protect freedom and to maintain the U.S global supremacy. I come from a family which my father was imprisoned by the Vietnamese communist government for five and a half years for working with the Republic of South Vietnam during the Vietnam War. Therefore, the values of freedom and liberty are very well respected in my family. Unlike many friends of mine, after graduation from the University of Missouri I decided to join the U.S Navy. At that time I have surprised many friends of mine about my decision to join military, especially during the time of war. However, my friends and family have their own way of living and thinking about life so everyone respected my decision and wished that I will have a good life and doing my best out of it. I'm an active, proactive, goal-directed and determinate type of person. I like to explorer and love to experience new cultures and get to know different people who come from different cultures background as much as possible. I worked at Vietnamese Community Center and was a founder and secretary of Vietnamese Youth Organization, which our goal is to preserve and to introduce Vietnamese cultures into the U.S society and to help Vietnamese people in community to adapt into the new country. At the Vietnamese Youth Organization, I have chanced to organize, fund raising and plan many events which I have learned to be flexible, commitment and well planned. I choose to join in the U.S Navy and to apply into the intelligent officer community because I have strong background in nature science, computer science, mathematics and physics. I'm also well influenced in both Vietnamese and English. I used to teach Vietnamese class at the Vietnamese Community Center. When I was in college I was allowed to skip Calculus I and advanced to take Calculus II. I love to work with numbers, solving problems, analyzing data and making prediction. I also have strong background in computer programming in C, C++, Java, Java Script, CGI, HTML, XML, Perl, and Assembly languages. When I was in high school I have won many awards annually in mathematics contest by the St.louis Public Schools. My personal goal is get the master degree in Information Management while still in service. My professional goal is to do the best what I'm doing right now and trying to improve myself day after day to become better person mentally and physically.
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I'm interested in joining the army as an officer and I have a bachelor's in business administration, but my GPA was quite low at 2.6. I understand that is not considered competitive, but I would simply like to know my odds of getting in with that GPA. My GPA declined my last year in college and this was due in part to working full time, participating in pitch competitions, and being in an on campus organization. I'm not excusing it, but trying to provide some background info. I am currently working in a field related to my degree and major as a project manager at a market research firm. I know that I would have to score extremely well with my PT score and I'm working with a trainer to improve that and I would also have to do well on the ASVAB. I normally test well and I'm also studying to prepare for that. I currently have four letters of recommendation: 2 from former employers, 1 from a former E9 in the navy, and 1 from a former O5 in the army. I'm also planning on getting one from the CEO/President of my current company. I know that my GPA works against me, but I would simply like some up to date odds on the likelihood of being able to join as an officer.
***UPDATE, 11/9/17: I requested information from all branches about joining as an officer and I've got serious interest from a Navy recruiter despite my GPA. He's pushing me to take the ASTB/OAR and get started on a packet. I will continue to update as this progresses.***